Friday, September 11, 2009

Word Problems

Apparently all of my spouting of resolution, my efforts to remain on task, even my digging deeply into the reserves of my self control, have all been for not.


Dear god in heaven did he start another army?

No I am afraid it is far worse. The internet tells me that Space Wolves have broken 40k, so why bother?

The maxim “You can’t be heard if you don’t speak out” was one that I used to strongly adhere to. So much so that (In those youthful days where everything was black and white.) I would mercilessly chalk-up any misfortune that had befallen someone as their own fault if I deemed that they had not “spoken out” enough. However, the internet gives me cause to rethink this adherence, as those that are “speaking out" seem to be complete ass-hats when it comes to talking about the Space Wolf Codex.

Everyone speaking on the internet about how broken the Space Wolf codex (W) is is an ass-hat (A). W->A. So every ass-hat must be speaking about how broken the Space Wolf codex is on the internet. A->W. Anyone who knows a little something about logic will see that this is a false statement. There could be an ass-hat, or many ass-hats who are not speaking on the internet. But I am not convinced. I think in this one instance, all the ass-hats of the world unified, somehow received funding to enable non-computer/internet equipped ass-hats to acquire the necessary means (Probably through some exploitation of some Stimulus Package.) to be able to speak on the world wide web, and launched a campaign to dumb up the internet with their Space Wolf talk.

It is hard, even for me, to remember the times before the internet. I have vague recollections of hungrily sifting through the pages of the newest White Dwarf in hopes of catching a glimpse of a forth coming model. I felt elation, or disappointment, when that same publication announced the next codex. And I remember scanning trade order form pre-orders to see when the books would be in. These were simpler times, not necessarily better, where on shipment day the racks would be crowded with people devouring the latest content. “Oh my gods” and “Holy Shits” echoed off the walls in a cacophonous roar.

But these days are gone. Insatiable rumor mongering demands that every tidbit discovered, true or false, be broadcasted and discussed in length before the books have been shipped. Armies are declared broken, and units are declared “the suck” before the book is even in stores. And ass-hats are empowered to type line after line of utter bullshit discrediting the people who have worked hard to realize a product, before said product has even hit the shelves.

I know right, I need to be on my porch with a blanket over my knees and a shotgun in my lap. But I can’t help but miss the merit of those old thyme 40k ways. The days of tweets and social networking broadcasts do not allow for patience, review, or understanding. It is ok to be knee-jerk in these venues because it is accepted that nothing on the internet can be taken seriously. So then why the paradox? In an arena where I am supposed to surrender to the fact that nothing is serious, why does everyone take everything so damn seriously?

I think, as I grow longer in the tooth (See what I did there?) the romance between myself and maxims grows colder. Hard and fast is more successful as a method of “doing it” than thinking.

In honor of my shifting of ways I would ask anyone who reads this, and possesses far more talent than myself, to assist me. I don’t necessarily want people to be heard anymore, I just want them to play. And so I abandon my maxim for a mantra, “Shut up and play.”

In the spirit of knowing the enemy, one cannot say what one thinks, nor can they start a revolution (Not necessarily what I am going for, but imagine…) without a catchy banner to put on your blog, signature, etc. Thus I appeal to like minded and software gifted readers to devise a banner. The only caveat being, it must read, “Shut up and play!” Email it to me and I will post it, or on the off chance that there is more than one, than all of them, here. If there is more than one I think I can make a poll or something, I’ll look into it, and we can all pick.

In the mean time, I am think I am just gonna skip any thread that reads “X RUMORS!ZOMG!” or similar. There is nothing that I would be worse off knowing a few months down the road.

Thanks for reading,


  1. One gentleman wrote on the Tau forums the impact he felt the Space Wolves would have on his Tau.


    Power Armored enemy rushing me.... Check
    Less of them ..................... Check

    Shas'O looking to Shas'vre friends, "really there is less of them?"

    Then he proceeds to look at his check list, "Riiiight."